Are the relationships you are in healthy? Let's talk about peer pressure

briannareyes01
Feb 20, 2022
5 min read

Have you ever been in relationship where you constantly feel drained? or feel like you cannot do anything without getting them upset?

If so, you most likely have been in an unhealthy relationship. For today’s topic I wanted to discuss relationships due to my webinar I had last week. Much information was given to us young ambassadors and I believe it is my duty to help spread it. Before reading the rest of my article, click here to watch this quick video made by Cut about 100 teens who spoke about their peer pressure experience!

There are multiple factors that can come into play when discussing relationships. Any relationship in your life can be unhealthy, whether it be with a significant other, family, co-workers, friends and much more. Unfortunately, many individuals are unaware of the multiple behaviors or actions that can fall under "unhealthy" or as my generation tends to call "toxic". Many may think that an unhealthy relationship is only when a partner/individual physically or sexually abuses the other, however there is many more actions or behaviors that can come into play that are unhealthy. In my meeting we were presented with the "Teen Power and Control Wheel" which you can see below, listed in the circle are behaviors or actions such as:

-Peer Pressure

-Anger/Emotional Abuse

-Social Status

-Intimidation

-Minimize/Deny/Blame

-Threats

-Sexual Coercion

-Isolation/Exclusion

Image by Domestic Abuse Intervention Project via National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence

I will be discussing each part of this wheel throughout my blogs to help you all understand these topics more. Not only will you become educated but also be able to recognize the type of the relationships you are in and act on it whether it be for yourself or others!

Before I begin, I would like to emphasize if you are going through any of the topics mentioned or listed, please get yourself out of this situation. Love can be a powerful thing that us humans endure; it allows us to create bonds with people that seem to be unbreakable. However, you must remember love also means loving yourself. When I say this, I mean to emphasize the importance of taking care of yourself, physically and mentally. Many times, it may seem like you cannot get out, or you cannot speak up, or that removing that individual from your life would be a mistake. I am here to tell you that it is total the opposite, listen to your gut. You have control over the life you live and have a say! Life is not easy, decisions are difficult to make, but think of the long run. How many chances are you going to continue to give in hopes of change?

Toxic individuals tend to bring down your self-esteem and can just become boulders in your life that block your pathway to your goals and dreams. Removing the toxic individuals in your life can allow room for self-growth and success (If you or someone you know is going through this difficult time and need someone to talk to, feel free to contact any of the service numbers listed below the article, remember there is always someone to help).

Peer Pressure

Peer pressure can be classified when one is forced to do something out of their own will. Meaning, someone or others are getting you to do something you do not want to do but do not stop bugging you to do it. Like I mentioned before, many individuals in your life can make you feel like this, below I have listed two examples:

An example in a relationship can be things such as:

-Sending explicit pictures

-Having sexual intercourse

-Taking off clothes

-Spreading rumors

-Removing individuals off your socials.

There are many more examples of how a significant other can peer pressure their partner to do something. If we were to reference the third option listed into a scenario being; a partner asks you to take off your pants. You do not feel comfortable doing so and kindly decline. However, your partner does not respect your answer and keeps asking you to do it. You repeatedly say no, but at this point your partner is making you feel bad and saying comments such as "this is why I don't love you" or "I am your boyfriend/girlfriend I deserve this" (Many statements can be made but these are just examples). At this point, you feel bad since this is your significant other, yet what you fail to realize is this is a perfect example of peer pressure. They are bugging you consistently to do something you do not want to do, but out of feeling bad you feel the need to do it for them.

In such situation, it is important to set your boundaries! If your significant other cannot respect your boundaries than that is immediately a red flag and a step closer to the exit sign.

Other examples could be related to family, such as:

-Telling you to not speak to a parent.

-Guilt tripping or forcing you to leave an occasion or do something.

-Pressuring you to pick between a parent.

-Making you address issues that do not involve you with another family member.

These are just very of the few examples of some ways peer pressure can be done by a family member. Let us reference the second line in a scenario, for example, your mother got into a big fight with your grandmother at a family gathering. She said some very rude things to your grandmother and wants to leave, however you feel bad for your grandmother and decide stay and comfort her. Your mother leaves the house and tells you to meet her outside because you guys are leaving. You choose to stay with your grandmother due to your mother’s inexplicable behavior and ask your father for permission. She texts you 5 minutes later telling you to go outside before she goes in and grabs you herself. Reading the text, you decide to text her back that you have already asked your father if you could stay and got permission. Your mother text you back saying if you do not get in the vehicle, she will never forgive you again. Feeling guilty, you decide to go with your mother home even though you do not want to. This action was made only because you felt obligated since she is your mother and you do not want to disappoint her.

This is a big sign of peer pressure; in this scenario your mother uses her relationship with you in her defense to peer pressure you to go home like she wanted. Although at times many cannot leave a "toxic" household due to various factors, you can always speak to a family member you feel comfortable with or speak to your parent about how the behavior is not right!

At times we tend to allow the peer pressure behavior but as listed above it can be a major issue. It is an unacceptable act that nobody should allow so next time someone tries to peer pressure you, speak up! Remember this is your life, you are here on this earth to satisfy yourself not others.

Take a look at this video by Kenny Nguyen at TEDxLSU who speaks upon the importance of saying no.

Maybe after reading this, you may notice that you unfortunately fell to the acts of constantly peer pressuring others. Life is all about learning, so now that you are informed about the inacceptable behavior do not continue doing it for your own sake and others. Treat others how you want to be treated.

My challenge to you if you have done this to someone is to apologize to them. Peer pressure can be very stressful upon an individual and affect them mentally in the long run. An apology for one's actions allows one to move on from constant self punishment. However, if the person has respectfully cut communication with you, it is also important to respect those boundaries.

Help is available!

If you or someone you know is going through this difficult time and need someone to talk to, feel free to contact:

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